I was at a networking event talking about trust-building (of course).  One of my favorite questions to ask is “Do you think a marketer has to earn trust?”  Usually, I get a “Yes, because….” kind of answer.   The woman I was talking to at this particular event, had a story to tell instead.

You may or may not have heard me talk about the trust bucket.  I’m always talking about how you are either filling it or dumping it.  Sometimes fast, sometimes slow.  It just depends on the situation.

This woman had a fast trust-bucket-dumping story for me and I loved it!!  I’ll share it with you.  Pay attention to the personal boundaries in this one.  Crossing personal boundaries is the fastest way to dump the trust bucket.

This woman has a sign on the side of her car that advertises her business.  It has her phone number which is her cell phone.  One day, she pulls up to a stop light and her phone rings.  She answers.  The guy on the other end says he’s in the car next to her (and waves at her).  He continues by saying he can make an advertisement that would wrap her car.

First of all this woman isn’t big on the car wraps.  So, she says no thank you.  Then he pushes and starts going into all the benefits of having a car wrap.  She still says no.  It took a couple more times of saying “no” for the light to change green.  Then the woman hung up the phone to drive.

What’s the moral of the story?

1) Don’t cross personal boundaries. - Take down the number and call it later.  Don’t sit in the car and wave at the potential client.  That’s just creepy!!  Pay attention to when and how you contact people.  Contact them in normal situations.  Don’t make a new situation up that the other person won’t appreciate.

2) DO take “no” for an answer. - When you first meet someone  and they flat out answer you with a “no” or “I don’t need that” or “I’m not interested” then accept that for answer.  For NOW.  You can always check in with them later and see.  Which brings me to the next one…

3) DO ask if it’s okay if you talk about your business when in a non-networking situation. This guy didn’t even ask if now was a good time, or try to arrange a meeting.  He just assumed she wanted to hear about it and went into the pitch!  Ugh!  Ask permission to market before you do.

This woman felt railroaded by the guy and felt like she had been stalked.  So, of course, she’s never going to call the guy.  He just lost a potential client and/or referral.  Trust bucket…Dumped!

What would your thoughts be if someone tried to market to you this way?

Every business owner needs to get their marketing message clear, intriguing and differentiated.  Like it or not, it’s a fact!  It’s also a challenge when the service you provide is a highly personal one to the client.  When it comes to creating  a message for personal services you have to connect with the client on a deep level and give them something they are willing to pay for.  It’s a balancing act many businesses struggle with.  That’s why I feel it’s important to share messages about how to differentiate yourself in the market.

There are several myths that I see tripping up coaches and other personal transformation professionals.  Each of these myths can quickly get you off track and have potential clients going elsewhere…fast!  So, I want to point you in a helpful direction.  See if you have bought into any of the following myths.  Feel free to comment with your opinions at the end of the post.

Myth #1:  Using the correct marketing language will easily drive traffic your direction. “Marketing language” is not magic nor is it always useful.  When I started in the world of marketing, I copied all sorts of “money making” phrases that I thought would fill my business with eager clients.  I mixed and matched, I changed it up a bit and I added my own voice.  Did it get attention?  A little.  However, what really got attention was when I started talking about my own personal story and experience.  I started using MY language, straight from my own brain and heart.  Psst - if you are on a mission, this is most effective in connecting with those you are meant to help.

Why? Because you are unique in you’re own right.  Speaking from your heart will get more traction than using a formula. Therefore your combination and selection of words is unique.  So, why rely on someone else to tell you what to say.  Use your own unique way of speaking.  Remember, the goal is to get potential clients to trust you so they are willing to jump right in.  They will trust you more if they feel like they “know” you.  How can they know you or trust you when you aren’t being authentic in your communications?

Myth #2:  Keep it professional. I know I just said speak from your heart.   Now, I’m saying to keep it professional? Many people feel these two things cannot co-exist and I beg to differ.  You can be personal and use your heart to guide your words.  As long as you stay on a topic that is professional, then you’re fine.

Now, that’s not to say that you’re forbidden from sharing your personal life.  People respond to personal information. By personal information, I’m not saying share the fight you had with your significant other last night.  I’m saying, share some hobbies or things you like to do outside your business.  Relate it back to your business and make connections wherever you can.  Know that in sharing a piece of who you are outside your business, you are allowing people to connect with you in a different way.  They may just start asking for your business help, because they can relate to your personal interests. This is why you’ll find me sharing my love for acting, my addiction to “American Idol” and stories of game days or BBQ’s at my house.  It starts a conversation.

Myth #3:  It’s best to have a Professional Copywriter write for me. While a professional copywriter can write your copy from scratch, however, it won’t have as much power or draw as it would coming from you.

If you really want to get the biggest bang for your buck…write the original copy from your own heart and then send it to a copywriter to spiff it up and enhance the effectiveness.  A great copywriter will appreciate your unique spin and use most of your language with a few pertinent changes they know will get you better results.

Over time, they might start to get a feel for the way you speak and start to write some for you, however, I always recommend at least writing a few paragraphs from your own language in order for the copywriter to do their best work.  Your language and your thoughts about your business change over time.  What might be your language today is not going to be the same in 3 months. That’s why I always suggest that you start with your own original copy.

So, where you are going to start with getting your own unique thoughts into the world?

Do your clients get bored with what you offer? Our kitty has taught me this very important marketing principle.  Calvin is our rambunctious, playful, fun, energetic and big lovable (13 pound) kitty.  His nickname is Mr. Mischief for a reason.  He gets bored easily so we have to keep him entertained by playing with him.  If he gets too bored, he starts to look at Hobbes as a new toy to play with and she’s not usually up for play more than once a day, whereas he is up for it several times a day.  In order to keep the peace, we spend time playing with Calvin every day.

His favorite toys are these squishy foam golf balls that bounce.  We call them bouncy balls.  He absolutely loves these toys.  He creates his own games with them and we never know what the game is until half way through play time.  Sometimes, he’s playing catch, sometimes he chases them and then other times he’d rather hunt.  We give him the choice and just go with it.

However, there are times when the bouncy ball just isn’t the toy of the day.  It’s pretty easy to tell when Calvin doesn’t want to play with something.  He just sits there and does nothing.  So, we have to change it up and try new toys.  He loves his bouncy balls, but sometimes he just needs something new.

Say the same message over and over and clients get to know what you do.  However, if you become too repetitive, they are going to just skip on by and look for something new. So, make sure you change up your marketing.  Say something new, create something new, or offer something new.

Take a look at your marketing.

Are you using the same exact copy when you re-launch a product or program?

Are you repeatedly using the same questions to get people engaged in your marketing?

Are you using the same 30 second speech every week at your networking group?

Get creative!  Find multiple things you speak about and keep changing it up.  As long as you always make a connection back to your main marketing message, you can keep it interesting.

Don’t let potential clients get complacent.  Keep changing it up to get their attention in the midst of all the consistency. Consistency builds trust and a little something different every now and then keeps the attention.

I know I’ve learned a lot from my lovable kitties.  I hope they have taught you something as well.  What are you going to change?  Leave a comment and share it.

Meet Hobbes!  Our little female kitty that Hubby and I find hugely adorable.  We rescued her from the scary outside world when she was 4 months old.  And yes, we know the comic strip characters are a boy and a male tiger, but in this case our Hobbes is a girl.  She’s now 5 years old, hugely skittish around strangers but loves attention and is very vocal.  She has the cutest kitten meow you’ve ever heard…it makes me melt.

Hubby has yet to get our little Hobbes to allow him to hold her.  It took a year to get her to start to trust me.  I would sit her on my lap or hold her for short periods of time (a few seconds).  She would really enjoy it at first but then realize it was a human doing it and run away.  I could tell that she really was an affectionate cat and wanted lots of love, but just wouldn’t allow the humans to provide it.  So, I kept increasing the time.  I’d make her sit a few seconds more every time I petted her.  After about 2 years, she finally admitted that she enjoys sitting in my lap.  She’ll jump up in my lap any time I’m sitting on the couch now.  She also occasionally likes me to hold her, but it has to be in the only position SHE likes.  Typical cat thing.

Just like Hobbes, clients need you to force them to see something they didn’t know they wanted.

Your clients know some things when they come to you.  They know they need to change something.  They know that something isn’t working.  They know they want to do something about it and they know there is someone out there who can help them.  They are just trying to figure out if you are that person.

I’m sure you’ve noticed your clients typically end up finding deeper problems than the ones they came to you for.  I’m guessing there are a whole host of contributing factors to the reason they need your help.  I’m also pretty sure there are some things they need to wake up to in order to successfully solve those problems.  This is where the juice is.  You can help them start waking up before they even start working with you.  You can’t just “tell” them what they need to know, but you can start eluding to how things are showing up for them and what might be contributing.

For example, let’s say you work with women who struggle to attract the man of their dreams.  If your clientele isn’t very enlightened, then you can’t just tell them that they have to work on themselves first in order to get what they want.  Instead, write articles about the problems that are showing up for them.  Then at the end you can show what specific inner mindset could be getting in their way.  Then they can come to you for help busting through that mindset.

The client has to FIRST see that you get where they are and know the problems they are experiencing.  Then they need the solution.  You already know that you need to offer the solution, but are you really helping them dig in and wake up?  Are you challenging them to own their role in the process?

Be strong, be tough and stand for what you know they want.  Start as early as you can in your marketing.  Give the cold hard truth in your articles, blogs, newsletter etc… Help them admit to themselves what they’ve been thinking all along. If you challenge your potential clients they will start to see what they need to do and start to own their power to change it.  Wouldn’t that make for an awesome client?  Not only that, they are going to want to hire you faster, because they know you “get it”.

How are you going to challenge your potential clients? Share your thoughts in a comment.

Did you know there is a day called “International Day of Trust?”  It happens every year on May 3.  Yep, that’s right.  A whole day dedicated to building trusting relationships.  It’s a global thing.  In fact, Vanessa Hall has founded an entire organization around building trust in schools and communities.  Vanessa and I share many of the same ideals about changing the world through trust-building.

So, in honor of “International Day of Trust,” I want to answer Vanessa’s question:

‘If you were to imagine a world built on trust, what would it look like to you?’

A world built on trust would look like a peaceful one.  One where the people of the world look up to each other, learn from each other, believe in each other and love one another.  I truly believe that if we all got hugely conscious about building trust in every relationship we create (not just business relationships), happiness would run rampant and success would be achievable for a larger percentage of the population.

I see  a world where terrorists can’t gain power, because their potential followers trust their own instincts and steer clear.

As it relates to business, I see more inventive businesses being developed.  I see competition being driven 100% by quality of products and services.  I see honest people running businesses and dishonest people unable to get their businesses off the ground.  I see more choices for consumers.  I see a world where business owners check egos at the door and consumers trust themselves to make their own decisions.

What about you?  What do you see?  Leave a comment.

Some links for International Day of Trust:

International Day of Trust Website - http://www.entente.com.au/idotoverview.aspx (Download “The Simple Truth About Trust” midway down the page)

International Day of Trust Facebook page - http://www.facebook.com/pages/International-Day-of-Trust/189933871049907?sk=wall

Forbes interview about trust and business with Vanessa - http://blogs.forbes.com/lisaquast/2011/05/02/building-a-culture-of-trust-do-your-customers-trust-you/

FYI - I’m offering a trust-building tip on a call this Thursday about “5 Myths of Working with A Marketing Mentor.” You can find out more and register at http://www.coachesmarketingsource.com/successpreview.html

Happy Trust Day!
Kristen Beireis, Trust Marketing Expert